2026年10月29日 12:05:22
It's about that cycle of doubt that you get when wondering if someone cares about you or not. It asks the question "am I not built to love you" as if you have everything you need to be valued but still doubting that it is enough.
I wrote this song in 2005 or so I was thinking bands like Chevelle, Anberlin, and Jimmy Eat World.
I released an earlier version in 2018 and my skills as an engineer has progressed since then. As I've matured, I've been less satisfied with the 2018 release and decided to re-record the song.
The outro breakdown has a proto-mathrock vibe where I symbolize the building doubt with accents that count up from 1 to 6 setting the bed of sound for key phrases in the song that are chopped up and filtered as if echoing in your head.
I want someone to feel the desperation and doubt that I felt when I wrote it. Like I mentioned, this song was written a long time ago (I was 20 years old then), next I want to release more songs that I have written recently. I have a few in the works, the next song I release will likely be more relevant to my current context as someone in their 40s. A bit more mature, but still dealing with doubt and insecurity and will have a new message to convey.
Consistency in marketing and releasing. I'm hoping to maintain a cadence of one song a month into the new year.
That there is a limited amount of space for you as an artist. I believe there is plenty of room for people who are serious about their craft to be heard and understood.
just write. Write train of thought, stream of consciousness words on a screen with no goal just see what comes out. Eventually you'll stumble across something
Consistency, again, I have had my best growth when I was posting consistently.
After this song, I would check out my tune Drive. It's an up tempo alt rock tune about connecting and becoming really good friends with an uber driver then never seeing them ever again.